Achieving your own version of success in the adult industry doesn’t have to be hard

Success isn’t one-size fits all and in the adult industry (especially the online portion) every performers version of “success” is going to look different. The first thing to tackle mentally in regards to success when you’ve been working in the industry for a year or more is what your personal goals are. As a performer, you can look at the many models you find yourself utilizing for ideas and examples and think that their version of success is the one that you should personally aim for but realistically your milestones may not align with theirs. There are many things to consider when you reach the level of comparing yourself to other performers to gauge your own progress; did this performer have help from a partner or friends with their workload? Do you have help? Did they already have a previous following outside of sex work? Did you? Did they start during a different economic situation? The reason you should ask yourself these things is to bring you to my end point: you can’t compare yourself to others to gauge your own success. No performer has an identical start and there are many factors that can influence the following, supporters, press, and earnings that a singular performer has access to. Comparing yourself to someone who had a large social media following before joining the adult industry if you didn’t isn’t a feasible comparison and while you can be inspired by their conversions and fan base if you hold yourself to the same standard as that performer in regards to achieving your own success, you’ll likely find yourself discouraged.

Stop comparing your own success to what you see portrayed by others

When you let go of comparing your own triumphs to what others have achieved, you’ll find yourself to be a lot happier with your progress. It’s only natural that in the highly network oriented spaces that online sex workers find themselves thrust into, that we fall victim to comparisons. If you don’t do it to yourself, sometimes you’ll even find fans and customers doing it. “You’d make more money if you did the thing she does,” or “Well the last person only charged me this much.” In order to avoid underselling yourself and skewing your happiness over your progress, it’s very important that you set realistic goals that only pertain to yourself.

Know your strengths and lean into them

An important part about running a successful business especially within the independent adult industry is learning what your strengths are and leaning into them. While being a “jack of all trades” is totally awesome, producing good quality content is so much more valuable than making lots and lots of content that is lower quality. Focus on what you are good at; if you love performing on video but you hate editing try setting specific days for editing so you can anticipate the work or consider hiring a video editor. If you love to stream but absolutely hate streaming on a set schedule, stream when you can and try to harness a group of regulars during all the times you stream! At the end of the day it’s about showing up and doing your best.

Appreciate the regulars and customers you have

It’s super easy to get in your own head and feel like since you’re providing a luxury service (pornography) that you are entitled to the money you’re receiving and while the “fuck you, pay me” mentality is one that finsubs may find hot, it’s definitely not a universal turn-on for porn buyers and watchers. Just because it is a service exchange (money for *the* goods) doesn’t mean that you can lack on customer service which includes a positive attitude and generally being thankful for the opportunity to earn their business. When your fans feel appreciated and seen, they tend to come back because they remember that positive customer service experience and that’s the best way to acquire and keep regulars. More regulars = more money = feeling more successful!

You can’t grow a successful business overnight

You can’t grow beautiful flowers overnight and you can’t make a super successful adult business happen overnight either. Success in the adult industry requires consistency in whatever you hone your talents to and patience. It’s very rare to become an “overnight” or even few month success and a majority of workers in the adult industry aren’t making hundreds of thousands of dollars every week or month and if they do: they put in a TON of work to get there. Try to remember to be patient, positive, and consistent in what you do!